Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
