For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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