Just fell off a train. Bad.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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