wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
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I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!