He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
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I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch