Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.