Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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