Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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