Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.