My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.