i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Randomize
