I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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