North Korea, Best Korea!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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