I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming