Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.