i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
