i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
