She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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