1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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