I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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