the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize