She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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