hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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