Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize