I will die if light touches me.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
