I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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