I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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