I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
