Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...