There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!