So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me