What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious