I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this just has baby written all over it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize