Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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