I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
