Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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