im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize