Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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