somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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