Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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