What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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