Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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