Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
