There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Boobs are out for the taking
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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