We won't sleep together?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize