Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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