dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
