i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
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Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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