He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption