I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks