theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.