Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Let's get the cat blown out
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml