I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad