no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine