he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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