ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
