It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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