I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No stitches, just platelets and will power
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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