my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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