he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
