I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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