If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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